Donald Trump Toupee vs. Combover Smackdown

Posted on April 14, 2007 by Propeller Tool
Filed Under Smackdown |

So Donald Trump’s hair called. “Guys, I have to know. Am I a terrible toupee or a really bad combover?” At first it seemed that all our hours watching The Apprentice would finally pay off, but on further thought we realized we couldn’t actually tell from memory. We put our crack team of paparazzi photo analysts on the job, and they came up with some fascinating results.

Round 1: Hairpiece

Trump Combover Exhibit A

This photo certainly does give the impression of a dead muskrat perched on The Donald’s scalp. Note the way that it all seems the same color, but that color just doesn’t look right next to the few bits of hair that actually look attached to his head.

Click through to take a closer look. It’s tough to be convinced from this shot alone, though. It’s not like the thing’s flying off as he gets out of the limo.

Round 2: Combover

Trump Combover - Exhibit B

Now this photo tells a story. It’s the story of a few lonely hairs, the last of their kind, pressed into service over an entire head. The story of the long journey each hair takes, starting at the back and travelling all the way to the front, dangling over steely eyes and a mouth that shouts, “YOU’RE FIRED!”

Click on it for the full effect. Pay close attention to the spaces between the strands, those barren areas devoid of life and color. More importantly, would anyone actually make a toupee that looks so fantastically unreal? I think not.

The Winner: Combover

There’s really no contest. As much as we’d like to blame The Donald’s awesome ‘do on the limits of synthetic fibers, it’s obvious that he really is growing it himself. In tiny patches. And spreading it thin.

Why No One Cares

Trump - Exhibit C

In our research, we discovered an interesting effect. It explains a lot about why no one ever seemed to notice or comment on Mr. Trump’s very special haircut. Take a close look at Exhibit C.

If you’ve even continued reading, then I’ll ask you: was there a man in that photo? Did he look a bit like Donald Trump? Did you spend any time looking at his hair? Yeah, exactly. Case closed.

The Payoff

Comments

One Response to “Donald Trump Toupee vs. Combover Smackdown”

  1. Not Ridge W on September 25th, 2007 5:25 am

    yeah that bud light girl is bangin

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