Instant Office Ninja Kit

Posted on April 27, 2007 by Propeller Tool
Filed Under Geekerie, Kit In A Box |

You work at an office, a mild-mannered cog in the machine that is Industry. You keep your head down, cover your ass, and make sure you get your TPS reports in on time.

But does it have to be so? Is there perhaps an alternate path your life can take? More importantly, can you take that path while still collecting your paycheck?

The answer is yes. The answer… is ninja.

“Oh, but not me,” you say. “I could never… could I?” Yes, my timid friend, your time has come. Your Instant Office Ninja Kit is here. The kit consists of the most awesome ninja accessories and tools culled from Think Geek’s stock; all it requires of you is a few clicks and some waiting.

Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja BookReal Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book

193 pages of pure genius. For example: “Ninjas are mammals. Ninjas fight ALL the time.” Genius. Read it cover to cover, then stand on your head and read it back to front. Then study all the diagrams in detail, practicing as necessary. Then use it to dispatch your first victim. Feels good, doesn’t it.

Killer Coding Ninja Monkeys shirtKiller Coding Ninja Monkeys shirt

You know the moves, but now you have to look the part. And nothing says “ninja” like a shirt that, er… says “ninja”. Really. It’s in fine print, right there at the bottom. Next to “monkeys”, which is just a bonus, really. It satisfies all the ninja requirements. Black? Check. Comfortable? Check. Silent? Check. Badass? Check.

Ninja Attack!Ninja Attack

The only weapon the office ninja really needs. Let pirates have their cannons, their cutlasses, their parrots. The ninja has… tiny ninjas. Four of them, ready to be fired at the slightest provocation. Ready to fight. Ready to fly!

NINJA electronics dusterNINJA electronics duster

If there’s one thing the true ninja knows, it’s how to dispose of the bodies clean up. The office ninja is no different, which is why you need this little can of whoop ass compressed air. Besides, nothing says “instant death!” like a can marked NINJA standing at the ready. Watching. Waiting.

As you will be. But not for long.

Have patience, your ninja kit will arrive soon. And then you. May. FIGHT.

Comments

One Response to “Instant Office Ninja Kit”

  1. me on April 27th, 2007 5:29 pm

    Stick fight site: http://www.stickpage.com/stickfights.shtml

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